Some Rabbits Died to Bring This First Post To You

So I started this blog.
And I was so psyched about this new blog, this revamped website of me myself and I, that it kept me up at night.  Because I’m a dweeb like that.  I had visions of this blog soaring to impossible heights…my musings, writings, and (of course) thought-provoking subject matter and stunning photography entertaining people around the country.
And then I remembered that I had to first actually post something.
And that kind of freaked me out.  And made me procrastinate.  Severely.  No one is going to care how splendiforous your first post is, I kept telling myself–which made sense, especially since, well, who’s going to read this blog anyway?
Still, I felt a lot of pressure on myself.
My first post had to be awe-inspiring.  It should make you gasp.  It should get you hooked on reading this blog forever and always.
I had to knock your socks off.
And then I actually sat down to start to type out this post, and my writing style became staccato, and I’m starting my sentences with all sorts of conjunctions, which in writing is supposed to be a major no-no (you’re also not supposed to really use parentheses all that much [and brackets inside parentheses are almost a sin!]).  So I figured I should maybe put a cork on my nervous monologue and actually start posting something worthwhile, hmm?

When you want something worthwhile to talk about, a good, reliable, crowd-pleasing (crowd-hysteria-inducing, in fact) subject is chocolate.  Specifically chocolate transformed into one of its many pleasurable guises–rich and sinful desserts involving copious amounts of white sugar and heavy cream.  Intrigued yet?
First, a disclaimer: this is not health food.  This is not even a remotely health-conscious indulgence–no swapping honey for sugar or making the most of fresh fruit.  But this is a serious subject here.
This is cheesecake.

It was my father’s birthday.  In terms of food, he likes Mountain Dew, Coke, Lemon Meringue Pie, Caramel, and Cheesecake, in that order.  I wasn’t about to bake him a soda cake–even though apparently that does exist–because I have an aversion to soda pop.  In fact, it’s more like a simmering, scalding loathing for it.  But more on that later.
My original thoughts drifted over to Lemon Meringue Pie Land (a quite glorious place to be, might I add), but a few days later I discovered that for some inexplicable reason we had stocked up on cream cheese a few months ago and had four packages of it hibernating in our garage fridge.  And thus my plans changeth.  (I would have made lemon meringue pie otherwise–shh!  I am saving our environment by reducing food waste!)

But, am I glad that I made this Chocolate Caramel Cheesecake from Smitten Kitchen.  The decadence was rich, fudgy, and…cheesecakey.  I mean to say, it was cheesecakey in the best possible way–in that way where each fluffy bite of love dissolves into a pillow of cream and cocoa delight on your tongue and you burst out in show tunes.

Well, maybe not the last part, for most people.  But it did happen, in my kitchen.

The funny thing about this cheesecake experience was that it was, unabashedly, butt-ugly. 😀  We couldn’t find the 24′ springform pan that the recipe called for, so we used a fluted pie pan that’s probably not twenty four inches and definitely not deep enough.  The cheesecake yurped over the edges of the pan, then, oddly enough, solidified.  It sort of looks like…um, a souffle.  Or, as I put it when it came out of the oven, a giant, flat, melting muffin”.

But it tasted good.

And I will spare me the shame of showing you the photos of the finished product–this also saves you a good deal of perplexity, by the way.  I did, however, take pictures of the process…the rich gooey chocolatey process…

We used Annie's Bunny Grahams to make the crumb crust.  They smelled DELICIOUS (like coffee, actually...?).

We used Annie’s Bunny Grahams to make the crumb crust. They smelled DELICIOUS (like coffee, actually…?).

They’re cute little things, really.  Ah, the serene rabbit.

And then we put the cute little rabbits into a Ziploc bag…

 

...and murdered them with a rolling pin and several hard poundings on the countertop.

…and murdered them with a rolling pin and several hard poundings on the countertop.

The result was a heavenly-smelling cheesecake crust that you can very easily forgive yourself for killing bunnies in order to make.

The result was a heavenly-smelling cheesecake crust that you can very easily forgive yourself for killing bunnies in order to make.

Then we took their guts and drowned them in sugar and melted butter.
I shall leave you all with this last photo, a gooey lake of cream cheese, caramel, butter, sugar, and, oh yeah, chocolate.  I like the way the picture doesn’t include anything but the bowl and the spoon–it makes it look like a kind of mystical chocolate wonderland.
Cheesecake 091
So, did it work?
Did I knock your socks off? 😉

 

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