The Killing of the Beast: Part 3 (The Aftermath)

I drifted to sleep last night on Cloud 9, but, to be honest, I was dreading waking up.  Why, you ask?  Because I’m chronically lazy because when I had long hair, it always looked like I had used it as a bicycle chain in the morning (the oil factor was pretty similar), and I figured that with the combination of my insanely thick wavy hair and its new length, I would be sporting my own miniature afro when I got out of bed.  So imagine my pleasure when it looks pretty much the same as last night even now, save slightly puffier!  Score two for the pixie cut.

I had three major concerns going into this, the only ones that hampered my otherwise blatant enthusiasm:

1.  That the cut would just look weird with my face. That my forehead would look to blocky or my jaw would look too angular.  It doesn’t–if I comb it just right.

2.  That I would end up looking like Justin Bieber.  Can you even imagine that horrific prospect?  Luckily, this was avoided–though I still can do “the flip”.

3.  That my bird wouldn’t recognize me.  I don’t know what I would do with myself if my cockatiel and I weren’t thisclose after my haircut as well.  I have to admit, I was pretty worried at first, when Citrus shied away to the opposite side of his cage when I approached.  After about ten minutes, though, he warmed up and flew over for his favorite thing–kisses on his tummy.  Can I get an ‘awwww!’?

My amazing hairstylist craftily sidestepped all of these pitfalls, leaving me with a haircut I couldn’t be happier with.  I really couldn’t stop smiling as it was getting cut, thinking about what it will be like to walk into school like this on the first day.

And since I like making lists, here’s the top three somewhat-weird factoids about my new hair the next day:

1.  Phantom hair!  This is so bizarre!!  I’ve heard of amputees having an odd feeling, as though their limb was still there, from time to time, but I never imagined it could happen to my hair.  But it’s so true!  And freaky!  Whenever I look in a mirror I feel like the rest of my hair is just behind my neck in a ponytail…and I keep reaching up to tuck it behind my ear.  Which I can’t.  I reach up to smooth the back down, and when my fingers meet my neck instead…that’s just so creepy.

2.  My neck is freezing.  I am rocking the scarf-and-earrings look today.  My poor neck–all its life it has been sheltered with something probably warmer than an alpaca blanket, and now I’m harshly exposing it to the crisp fall air.  My poor baby, I’m sorry.

3.  I thought I would be thinking about my short hair ALL THE TIME after I got it cut, but surprisingly, it only crosses my mind when someone brings it up (or when I’m blogging about it). In fact, I think I was more conscious of the decision before I got it cut, going through yesterday thinking–my last morning with long hair; my last run with long hair.  Now it just feels natural, like it’s been this way all along.


While there may be more installments in this series, I would like to conclude this particular post with a “disclaimer” of sorts:  I really hope these didn’t come across as the ho-hum, arrogant drawlings of a teenage girl futzing with her hair.  Because for me, at its heart, this haircut marks something much bigger.  I’ve been changing so much on the inside that I needed something to finalize the transition on the outside, to show the world that yes, now I’m different than I was when I lived in Wyoming, but I’m The Girl in the Orange–loud, confident, bold, optimistic, content, kind, free, intelligent.  I strongly hope that those adjectives will be the ones my friends use to describe me whenever I pop into their heads or their vicinities.  I haven’t felt more like myself in a long while.  And as cliche as it sounds, being yourself is the most natural, most empowering feeling in the world.




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