SURPRISE

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.  Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.  Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.  Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.  Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.  Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.  Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.  Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.   Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.  Sorry.Sorry.  Sorry.Sorry. Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.  Sorry.Sorry.  Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.  Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.Sorry.

I think that’s exactly 100 sorry’s–not counting that last one just there–but, well, there’s no way I’m going back and checking.  If you count and come up with another number, prize* for you!

So, ergh.  I know this thing died went into hibernation, and I know that was a bad move on many accounts and I also know that it was entirely my fault.  I HAVE NOT POSTED SINCE SEPTEMBER 15TH LAST YEEAAR I MEAN THERE IS OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS.

The abbreviated version of the story is this: I actually did have a lot of ideas for posts and such that I would sit on, and then try to go about compiling, but something about the last few months (new school? insecurity?) let my inner perfectionist take an extreme hold and really start to stifle my…everything.  I couldn’t write a post or snap pictures to put up here without them being absolutely perfect, and obviously that was never going to happen, no matter how many hours I spent slaving over writing and photo and video editing.  Hence, no posts.

I’m going to do something insane here and not edit this draft once I finish typing it up.  It’s kind of nerve-wracking to think about, actually (ugh, I am so completely Type A), but it’ll probably be good for me.  Actually, if I want to jump back into this whole blogging thing, which I do, this is probably going to be the only way I’ll have time to do it–maybe I can type up a few posts per week, but I’m certainly not going to pour as much time into tweaking and nitpicking as I’m used to.

THERE IS TOO MUCH HOMEWORK.

(If you can count up the number of times I’ve ever complained of that on here, I will actually legitimately send you a $15 gift card or something.  We can work something out.)

Actually, I’m on winter break right now, and it’s New Year’s Eve, so it feels like a good time to jump back into this.

I know running TGITO was A Good Thing.  It gave me writing and social marketing and photography practice, it probably made me A Better Person, and it definitely helped me Feel Better About Myself.  (This is hard for perfectionists, you’ll have to understand.)  I let it bottom out, and that was A Bad Thing.  I don’t really have a constant in my life, something that always makes me smile and that I do just for me, anymore.  I needed to cut off blogging for a few months because it was ceasing to be that thing, instead becoming very stressful and anxiety-inducing and altogether just too much effort.

Once you hit high school you turn into a lazy sack of caffeine and societal angst.

I wasn’t warned.

Anyway, though, in spite of it all, I’m back.  I took a long enough hiatus that it feels a bit nostalgic to open up WordPress again, and also utterly terrifying.  My inner perfectionist is wringing her hands over the fact that this post serves really no point except to make a dramatic reentrance, but I suppose she’ll have to learn to be okay with that.  I definitely want to continue to blog!  I’m not exactly sure what I’ll start posting about from now on, but we’ll get into that later. 🙂

It’s the new year.  (Speaking of, Happy New Year, everybody!!)  365 blank pages that I’ll really try hard not to let whoosh by unfilled like 2013.  I don’t want to proclaim any grand resolutions here, for obvious reasons (namely the flaws of human nature), but I do want to keep writing and posting and I do want to approach the coming year with some sort of achievable goal, instead of just waking up every day and winging it (which as it turns out doesn’t really work for me).

2014 promises to be magical.  Justin Bieber is retiring from music.  Peter Capaldi has already argued with Steven Moffat over the sexism in Doctor Who scripts.  I’m sportin’ some pretty awesomesauce new glasses.  The little ponytail in my hair doesn’t look quite so awkward now.  I’m learning how to navigate the murky waters of the high school social scene, and hellyes I’m flubbing up a lot along the way, but learning is never a bad thing.  Plus my birthday was 22 days ago, so I’m rocking a brand-spankin’-new age to take for a spin and mess it up as much as possible in what is hopefully a joyous and eclectic explosion of orange.

Also I’m back.

Have a lovely day! 😀

(You should leave a comment on this post if you’re reading it, just cuz I feel kinda lonely and hope everyone didn’t forget about me. 🙂  I don’t care at all what it says.  Resolutions, the color of your pinky toenail, your favorite liquid to consume, your innermost secrets, musings on the Novikov Self-Consistency Principle.  Really.  Just write a thing.  I love you.  Thanks bunches.  Best wishes.)

*prize may or may not be only my eternal adoration and gracious admission of defeat

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12 thoughts on “SURPRISE

  1. I am SO very excited, thrilled, happy, grateful, and joyful that you have returned from your hiatus!!! I’ve missed reading your captivating and witty posts, and I have been hoping that you would come back someday. I can completely relate to your perfectionist desires, though I have learned not to worry TOO much about making my posts “perfect”–I do enough of that with my college assignments. So my recommendation is this: don’t think your posts have to be “perfect,” because they will almost certainly sound more honest and realistic if you don’t edit them 1000000 times before posting them. This post sounds absolutely fantastic for not having been edited (as do all of your posts anyway)!! I know I probably sound like a broken record over here, but I love your writing style and sense of humor–it is what makes your blog one of my favorites to read! And no, I am not just saying that to give out sugar-coated flattery. I will be awaiting your future posts with bated breath–you have my promise. Oh, and I didn’t hear that Justin Bieber was retiring from music…It’s probably just a joke or something, but you had me hopeful for a moment there. I am sure he is not a bad person or anything, but I can’t stand his songs. Also, I recently started watching Doctor Who, and it is SUCH an incredibly fantastic (and addicting) show. I can see myself becoming a Whovian in the very near future. I hope you had a memorable and exciting New Year’s Eve!! And Happy very-belated Birthday!! And sorry for the excess of exclamation points in this post–you can tell I was very enthusiastic.

    • Thanks so much! 🙂
      CONGRATULATIONS ON STARTING TO WATCH DOCTOR WHO THIS IS VERY EXCITING NEWS!! It’s my obsession and therapy of choice, although I’m more than a little fed up, like I said, with the sexism in the Moffat-era episodes (most of the 11th-doctor ones). The 9th- and 10th-doctor eras, though, are brilliant. Fantastic, you might even say. 😉 If you ever feel like fangirling together, I’m only an email away! 😉
      I actually ~did~ think that JB was retiring, but since then he has amended the statement. 😦 Drat. Ah, well, the world is always full of plague and pestilence.

      • I would loove to fangirl sometime but give me a couple weeks to get hooked, k? I’m only on episode 4 but I gotta say the urge to watch the next immediately is almost irresistible.

        I hadn’t heard that–at least my hopes are not crushed

        Happy 2014 ! (Again:) )

  2. My pinky toenail is naked.

    I mean- YOU’RE BACK I WAS WORRIED I KEPT CHECKING MY READER TO SEE IF I HAD ACCIDENTALLY UNSUBSCRIBED BECAUSE I DO THAT SOMETIMES CUZ I SORTA FAIL AT READERS AND I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND I HAVE TO FORCE MYSELF TO POST A RECIPE NOW AND THEN BUT I AM SUCH AN ANGSTY CAFFEINE SACK AS WELL WHO IS ALSO HIGHLY CYNICAL BECAUSE GOSHDANGIT AMERICA AND I MISSED YOU AND YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!(takes breath)

    I JUST GOT NEW GLASSES TOO AND I LIKE TO CONSUME LIQUID WATER AND ALSO COFFEE THAT WAKES ME UP OOPS KINDA ADDICTED AND I RESOLVE TO GO TO BED EARLIER BUT LOLNOTHAPPENING AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND HAPPY ALMOST ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY OF YOUR RECENT BIRTHDAY AND NOW I WISH I HADNT STARTED IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY TYPE I LOVE YOU IN A MORE EXCITED WAY BUT YES WHOOP DER IT IS AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN IN YOUR PREVIOUS COMMENTREPLY THAT JB IS NOT RETIRING THIS IS LITERALLY DEATH. LITERALLY.

    BUT IM SO GLAD YOUR BACK ITS SO NICE TO KNOW THAT YOU STILL HAVE BREATH IN YOUR LUNGS NO PRESSURE OR ANYTHING YAYAYAYAY.

  3. Ahh… Man… Dude, that last paragraph starting with “2014 promises to be magical.” was art. LOL! And you know, I feel somewhat irresponsible for not putting in a warning last year when I was blogging on the old blog and experiencing freshman year.. Then again, English Honors class ruined–I mean RULED– my life and I wanted to divert attention from that! Haha xD
    But anyways, I’m glad to hear you’re doing well! Don’t worry about not posting uber long posts or about them being perfect.. Just keep writing for fun! Post a poem once in a while, and maybe I’ll do the same. 😉 Not that I’m any sort of poet, but heck, why not right? xD

    And as an ending to this comment.. Sorry about not sending the dress in yet. I fail as a human being. But I’m getting a car soon, so perhaps I can actually drive to the post office after school and mail it in! Really, as soon as I get my car, I’m doing it. I feel horrible. :/ Do you still want it? Because woman… Ugh.. It’s been too long and I suck.. -.- And who wants a dress from such a sucky person? :/
    ON THE OTHER HAND… Think of me as the 11th Doctor and you as Amy Pond. I said to just wait a bit and you wound up waiting half a year. xD AT LEAST THAT’S NOT 5 YEARS! (totally trying to talk myself out of a pit, hoping this works.. haha)

    • KATIE GUURL HERE IS A SHORT POEM FOR YOU:
      DO NOT STRESS
      ABOUT DE DRESS

      Like, ok, I have had enough of your profuse apologies. 😉 You offered to do something so incredibly nice and kind and it DOESN’T MATTER IF IT TAKES YOU 5 YEARS OR IF YOU NEVER GET AROUND TO IT because the thought is there and you are an awesome person and I promise I’m not thinking less of you or moping around my room lamenting my lack of orange dress. I still really like the dress, BUT I bought myself an orange dress for Homecoming this year that fits well and everything, if that takes a load off your shoulders! Totally fine if you do not send it, but if you do I am sure I will squeal in delight whenever it arrives. Even if that’s in 2019. It will be well-received.

      Congrats on getting a car, at any rate! 😉 Since I skipped a grade, I’m a little over a year younger than everyone else in my grade, and I feel all left out when they talk about Driver’s Ed. I may or may not be vicariously living through you and your car……

      • You may actually be the nicest, sweetest, most awesome girl I’ve ever met. I guess I’m just being like this because I often have a problem with not following through with what I say I’m going to do… And I actually AM sending you that dress (when I get my car… lol xD which hasn’t happened yet!) so I hate that I haven’t done it yet when I totally intend to!!

        And heck, don’t worry about driving too much.. it’s actually terrifying being behind the wheel in the morning, when there’s fog out on the roads.. Darn Seattle weather xD At least you don’t have to worry about running over any squirrels (eep! my spirit animal </3 the day I do that is the day I start freaking out and crying in my car…) or possums on the road. Definitely not pleasant!

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