In my post about the weekend I mentioned that with all the cakes, pies, cupcakes, cake pops, and other manner of sweet things around the house, I was the burgeoning owner of a MASSIVE sugar addiction. I’ve never been quite sure why this happens with me; I only know that I seem to have a very addictive personality, and things like desserts
and blog-reading and vlog watching are its downfall.
I’ve been trying to “get clean” all week; I’ve improved somewhat, in that I no longer uncontrollably beg for a second slice of cake after finishing a meal, but I still have a ways to go in conquering this craving. Over this week, I’ve been trying to slowly dial back my sugar consumption–today, I was supposed to go completely no-added-sugar, but, alas, we had muffins in the freezer…
The day started off well–I had a light (for me) breakfast of Chocolate Covered Katie’s 2-ingredient energy balls (in a lovely Tupperware container), followed by a banana and natural peanut butter. True, the dates in the energy balls have a lot of sugar packed into their volume, but…I think running justifies this? Even if one is only running 3 miles..? Not sure. Anyway, I needed an energy-packed snack that wouldn’t weigh me down while on the hamster wheel.
Accompanied with some Celestial Seasonings African Rooibos tea! I love everything about this tea–from the smell to the taste to the texture to the color. It’s “red” tea; and, for the record, when the box bragged of cherry and toffee flavors, I thought it was too good to be true…but the stuff is truly like sweet dreams packed into tea bags. And caffeine-free! I’m addicted.
(And yup, I read food magazines over breakfast!)
Lunch was simple–I’d like to say I was writing so much I didn’t really have time to put together a fancy lunch, but the truth is that I’d been telling myself I was going to work on novelling any time now for about the past four hours, and I really didn’t want any lengthy meal-prep to interrupt my procrastination. So. Leftover scrambled eggs + veggies in a whole-wheat tortilla it was.
(Afterward I was quite dismayed that I didn’t put any avocado in this, so I ate half an avocado on its own. Also another tortilla. Also some swiss cheese, and pickles. I was HUNGRY, and craving eggy/cheesy/salty things!)
At around 2 o’ clock, blood sugar levels must have dropped, because the intense sugar (and chocolate) cravings came back again, full-force! They were quelled temporarily by a lovely (and oh-so-stunning, right? ;)) green–er, brown–smoothie made with banana, milk, spinach, and cocoa powder. Thick, delicious, and easy to down while writing (which I was actually doing by this point!).
But, of course, nothing gold can ever stay. It was 5 o’ clock by the time my thoughts rolled around to dinner, and I was planning to make NeverHomemaker’s baked veggie pockets; alas, the dough required two hours of refrigeration! I still went ahead and whipped it up as quickly as possible, but I needed something to tide me over until actual dinner could begin–I found solace in two banana-pb-chocolate chip muffins popped from the freezer (saved from breakfast at the Hatchday Party!).
Conveniently, by the time it was time to need to knead the dough (sorry–couldn’t resist!) not only my blood sugar levels, but my serotonin levels as well, seemed to have dropped markedly, and I had, alas, worked my way deep into the heart of a Cloud of Foo. (This is a term I coined a couple of years ago to describe the oh-so-lovely and horrific mood
swings plummets characteristic of the adolescent brain, and also for the longer bouts of depression characteristic to my brain.) I’m convinced that kneading, however, was invented by a furious baker, long, long ago, who sought a way to vent his anger without disfiguring the faces of his comrades. Or perhaps a god of stress management. At any rate, I felt much better after a heated 10-minute kneading engagement, and after about 20 minutes outside working on my volleyball skills with Family & co.
— thegirlintheorange (@tgitorange) July 24, 2013
I was also smiling the entire time I was kneading–not because it had instantly lifted the dreaded Cloud of Foo, but because I, reader of things, had once heard that smiling, even if forced, releases immense amounts of endorphins into one’s brain, thereby instantly cheering them up even if they were formerly in a Cloud of Foo! (Of course, I didn’t allow any members of Family & Co. to see me at it; because, as you know, when one is battling a Cloud of Foo, one is too sullen to even attempt to be in an agreeable mood. One becomes so stubborn that one doesn’t let one’s family see them attempt to smile, for fear that one’s family will think they are cheering up! The last thing one wants when one is in a sullen mood is to be perceived as anything but sullen.)
Did my 10 minutes of forced smiling have any effect? Marginally…I think getting my blood stirred up via kneading and volleyball was more efficient, though. I also headed out to the garage/home gym a while after dinner to bang on the punching bag, and that was relieving. Still, I think by then I was kind of resigned to feeling crappy for the rest of the day–I’m just looking forward to waking up in the morning, when my Cloud of Foo and I can “reset”.
A final, more WIAW-related line: I’m drinking some more herbal tea as I type this up. Partly in the hopes that it will soothe my frenzied mind, and partly because it tastes so awesome. I think I might read some Bible before hitting the sack. As I frequently remind you, my religion is as-yet-undecided and ever in flux, but I find it worthwhile for the philosophical value alone. Nothing like pondering the meaning of life and morality to take your mind of Clouds of Foo.